Saturday, August 7, 2010

Our Friends Help Me to Love Him Better

They are who I call when I'm frustrated, when what my husband does drives me crazy, or when circumstances make marriage seemingly impossible.  They are the right people to call.  Our best couple friends absolutely support our marriage, and I don't think you can ever have enough friends like that.

Through hormonal tears and laughter about the changing phases of our lives, they have been our steady companions.  Our friends have seen us in different places in the country and they have always been one phone call away.  My girlfriends are important to my emotional health, and I lean on them too, but there is something so powerful about calling "a couple" for support and guidance.  It's funny that I feel doubly supported by our husband-wife friends, because I only call the women, but they are the type of couples who share everything, and I always feel like I am talking with the both of them with one phone call.  I know my story will be shared with the husband, and when I get that call back to check on how things are going, I can hear his input on the other line.

In our best couple-friends relationships I have a deep friendship with the woman and my husband is good friends with the man.  It is important for his friends to have a chance to remind me what makes him such a good guy.  They will defend him, and that is incredibly important to the strength of our marriage.  When I am not necessarily feeling like going to bat for him, our couple friends will.

My husband and I are approaching our twelfth anniversary, and we threaten practically every year to throw an anniversary bash that looks a whole lot like our wedding reception.  Part of why we want to do it is to have a chance to celebrate with the friends who have played such an integral part in our marriage.  One of my favorite pictures from our wedding reception is of the groomsmen holding me up.(the picture above is not me, nor is it anyone I know)  Many of the guys who physically held me that night, have been figuratively holding me ever since.  We have added other supportive guy friends to the mix, and with all that support, a bride/wife has a hard time falling.  When we get our anniversary bash organized, it will be a celebration of our years of marriage, but it will also be a chance to thank the friends who have consistently helped me love him.