Friday, May 28, 2010

He's Baa-aack! and I'm Adjusting

My space has been invaded.  Glad he's home. Extra dishes. Glad he's home. Bed unmade. Eyes closed...glad he's home. Clothes strewn. Deep breath... glad he's home. Bathroom's crowded. Move through quickly...glad he's home. Vibrating phone alarm clock. Sun's up anyway...glad he's home. Typing elsewhere so I don't wake him...cathartic...yes, I'm glad he's home.

I'll have someone with whom to share my coffee.  Little Sprout will have a playmate when I am off running games for field day, yardwork will get done faster at the cabin with two more hands.  That elusive campfire will be built because I am not the one building it.  Fish hooks will be properly set,and  caught fish will be handled less squeamishly.I'll have someone to marvel at fireflies with me...when the kids have all faded to sleep. Laughter will be louder, hugs will feel tighter, conversation will grow to its normal length after being stunted by telephone awkwardness. Children will will feel full...Absolutely...I'm glad he's home.

The real kick in the pants is that just when we have all adjusted to the newness of his presence here, and yes, after three weeks of life in his absence, it feels new for a few days, he will leave us again.  Back to work...for both of us. One more long stretch before we come to invade his space, and we all adjust to a different kind of newness. 

So yes, the space feels crowded, and slipping right back in to the habits I abandon when he is gone, well, that's okay with me for a weekend.  Letting myself quickly drop my guard so that I can feel all the joy the next few days...that makes the time he's home better, but it makes the adjustment when he leaves that much harder. I could sabotage. I could spend time pointing out and embracing the discomfort of an extra body in the house. The weekend will happen at weekend pace whether I am joy-filled or frustrated.  So, I choose joy-filled.  I am going to leave this on my computer screen, pick up the strewn clothes, make the bed, do the dishes and wrap my head around living joyfully in the moment.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Is it Possible to Over-Propose?

If you haven't already seen it, you should take a few minutes to check out this Flash mob marriage proposal..  The guy hired about 100 dancers to make his marriage proposal.
I loved this.  I got weepy watching it and I so wished I had stumbled upon the scene in person.  Proposal stories are the best, and this one is a doozy.  How do you outdo that?  Someone will, I'm sure, but this one will rank pretty high for a while. here comes synical-move-past-romantic-phase voice...I have no intimate knowledge of this couple, all I know is that this is a pretty impressive way to ask someone to marry you, and I can hardly imagine every anniversary, birthday, or holiday that follows will fully measure up. How is this guy going to be as great as he is during the proposal?  How can he recapture what is probably going to be the most romantic moment of their relationship?  Maybe he's not supposed to. Maybe the proposal is allowed to be so crazy and big that it propels a relationship for the long-haul when the couple retells the story, again and again.  Being the realist who has been married almost twelve years, and who didn't really like the landing when I came down from the high that was the proposal and the wedding, I cannot help thinking about whether this guy is setting his marriage up for disaster by going over-the-top with the proposal?   Maybe she is not that high maintenance, and he knows that she would have adored the quiet one-flowered wedding proposal just as much.

What do you think?  Can someone over-propose?